The return of Raja

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(Remember to read it in your-hopefully getting better- tough guy voice) (And pause at the awkward silences) (Oh yeah, and all the Spanish phrases are correct!)

“Oh, GMO!” YAAMAAHAA said. “Thank you for taking me to this wonderful Mexican restaurant.” “No problem babycakes,” GMO was saying. “Anything for you.” “But how did you afford it?” YAAMAAHAA said. GMO said, “Well, that’s a funny story really. See I was interrogating some terrorists in Iraq and-“ GMO was interrupted when a shady figure holding a pistol came in. “Dame todo tu dinero!” He shouted in Spanish. “I don’t know what language your speaking buddy,” GMO said, “But allow me to show you how to speak my language!” GMO charged forward, despite the robber shooting the pistol, GMO was too fast for him. He ran up to him and delivered the rare Vulcan Extreme Neck Pinch to his neck. It knocked out the thief faster than the new tickle me elmos are getting sold at toys r us right now. “Adios amigos.” GMO said. “Gracious senior!” The other people at the diner shouted. “My hero, YAAMAAHAA said, kissing GMO. Suddenly the cops stormed in. “Great job GMO.” They said. “You just captured a dangerous criminal.”

“Oh by the way,” they said. “We’ve gotten you a partner to try out.” GMO said, “I don’t do partners.” “Well,” the cops said. “You have to take one to stay on the force.” GMO sighed. Then his new partner stepped out of the shadow. “Hi,” He said. “My name is RTSplayer. I spent three years at Harvard studying criminal justice and an extra two years just for experience. I even memorized the rulebook.” “Hi,” GMO said. “I’ve been hit by Frankenstein, mauled by wolves, and bitten by vampires. I’m a loose cannon cop, and I don’t play by the rules.” (Awkward Silence 1) “Ooookkkkayyy…” RTSplayer said. “Nice too meet you.” RTSplayer had a feeling his dreams weren’t going to be great that night.

It was a dark night as the man was standing on top of the skyscraper. His fiancée had just dumped him for another man, and he was going to jump. Cops telling him not to jump were down below. There was an accident on the highway and the firemen couldn’t come with their trampolines. Suddenly from behind him a man came out of the door to the roof. It was RTSplayer. “Don’t do it son!” He said. “You still have a life!” The man was hesitant, but decided to climb down. Suddenly GMO busted the door to the roof down with a sledgehammer. “Time for some therapy,” He said. “With my fists!” “Ah!” The man cried. Then he jumped off the building. “What have you done?” RTSplayer said. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!”

RTSplayer woke up. It was all a dream. Everything was okay. He looked around his apartment building and nothing seemed amiss. Suddenly, GMO kicked the door down. “Come on!” He said. “We have a mission!” “What is it?” RTSplayer said. “My arch nemesis, the evil Raja, has created a death ray to blow up the White House!” RTSplayer said, “Proper procedure compels me to take action!” “Let’s go!” GMO said, “All right, his secret base is in Antarctica.” “Wait a second.” RTSplayer said. “It can’t be a secret base if you know about it.” “What do you mean?” GMO said. “If it really was secret base you wouldn't know about it.” RTSplayer said. (Awkward Silence 2) “Well,” GMO said, “Secret base just sounds cooler that’s all.” “Let’s go!” He said.

They were soon flying in a private plane over Antarctica. “Thanks for the favor, Bill.” GMO said to the pilot. “Well, after you dealt with those hijackers by skydiving at 30,000 feet it was the-“ The pilot was suddenly interrupted as large gusts of wind hit the plane. “It’s Raja!” GMO said. “He must have his tornado machine on!” RTSplayer looked below, there were several large tornados heading straight for the plane. “We have to bail out!” The pilot said. GMO grabbed a parachute and jumped out. There was one parachute left. “But,” RTSplayer was saying, “proper procedure tells us to stay on the plane!” The pilot grabbed RTSplayer’s parachute and jumped. “Have fun kid!” He said, jumping out.

GMO landed in the artic below and made his way to Raja’s laboratory. When inside he found his inter chamber and confronted him with his trusty sword and minigun. “Hiya Raja.” He said. Raja turned around from working on the death ray. “GMO?” He said. “But how did you get here?” GMO said, “I just flew in from New York, and when I’m through with you, boy are my arms going to be tired.” Raja said, “I can see your catch phrases are still on the mark, allow me to give you a gift for that.” Raja pulled out a homemade gun. “NO!” GMO shouted. “Anything but that!” “NNNNOOO!” He said. “MU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Raja laughed. “HA HA MU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!”

What will happen next? What is GMO so afraid of? Will GMO destroy the death ray? What happened to RTSplayer? And why is Raja laughing so fanatically? These questions answered and more next time on: GMO: loose cannon cop.


GMO: loose cannon cop in: The return of Raja part 2 of 2

“MU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!” Raja laughed. “I have here your one great weakness.” “The thing you hate most!” “Introducing my flower gun!” “NNNNNOOOO!” GMO shouted. “Anything but that!” “Oh yes,” Raja was saying, “I have finally found your weakness.” “My allergies can’t take it!” GMO said. Raja started firing his gun. “Ugh!” GMO said. Each flower hit him with great impact and he doubled over in pain. “Stop!” He cried. “Have mercy!” “Well,” Raja said. “At least you’ll have some flowers at your grave!” “MU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, MU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, MU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Suddenly Raja stopped and looked out his window at an object heading towards his base really fast. “Is that a bird?” He said. “No,” GMO was saying, “It looks like a plane.” “No,” Raja said, “It can’t be. It must be-no-your right, it is a plane.” Suddenly a very fancy plane crashed through the side of the base and hit the death ray. RTSplayer climbed out. “FREEZE!” He said. “It’s all over!” “Well,” Raja was saying, “I’m surprised you managed to destroy my death ray. No matter, I can still dispose of you two.” He pulled out two tazers and zapped them both into unconsciousness before they had a chance to react.

When they woke up they were both tied up on the ground. “Wha-What are you doing?” RTSplayer said. “Warming up my torture device, it can transport me anywhere and turn into anything I think of.” “And to ad insult to injury, I’m pulling out this big screen t.v (high definition of course) for you to watch what horrible things I do to your houses and other things." GMO, RTSplayer, and Raja all sat waiting. (Awkward Silence 3) “Uh, nice place you got here.” RTSplayer said. “Thanks.” The evil Raja said. “This was originally the palace of the King of Spain, but I ordered some more tablets from Persia to complete the bathroom.” (Awkward Silence 4)

“Ah!” Raja said. “It’s ready!” “MU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!” Raja transported to GMO’s house. (All that he does will be revealed later) “NO!” “GMO said stop it!” After he was done doing nasty things to GMO’s house, he turned to look at RTSplayer. GMO couldn’t watch. It was too horrible. All he could hear were RTSplayer’s screams. “Now it is your turn!” Raja said, looking at GMO. Somehow deep inside him GMO got the strength to break his bonds. Raja gasped. “Why didn’t you do that while he was torturing me?” RTSplayer said. GMO said, (This is what the evil Raja did by the way) “You can shave my cat, blow up my car, and pull RTSplayer’s eyebrows out, but when you mess with me,” He said, slamming his fists together. “It’s go time.” “FOOL!” Raja said, ripping his shirt off. “See these six pack abs! I’ve been working out!” “Impressive.” GMO said, ripping his shirt off. “But not impressive enough.” Raja gasped. GMO had eight-pack abs.

“Let’s go pal.” He said. Raja charged at GMO and was gaining the advantage at first because of his height advantage. But soon GMO let out some twenty lightning fast punches to his face. (Matrix style) And Raja collapsed. Raja said. “It’s not over yet.” “I think it is.” GMO said. “Besides, there is only two parts in the story.” “You don’t know how evil I am!” He said. He pressed a button on his suit, and he transported to his underground lair. “NNOO!” GMO screamed. “You fiend!” “How dare you make Chris write even another story about your fiendish plots!” But Raja couldn’t here him, all he was doing was his regular fanatical laugh. “MU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, MU HA HA HA MU HA HA HA HA HA!!!!”

What will happen next? What secrets wait in Raja’s underground chamber? Why on earth does Raja laugh so much? What does he have against GMO? And will GMO remember to untie RTSplayer? These questions answered and much more next time on Part 3 of 2.

An extra short story real quick:

What would happen if Chris took his stories too far? “Yes!” Chris said. “Another short story completed!” Suddenly the door to his room opened behind him. In stepped the old man, GMO, JamesBond, YAAMAAHAA, zombie teddy bears, Zega, Raja, and Reaper. “Why are you here?” Chris said. “We’re tired of you writing stories about us!” YAMAAHAA said. “Yeah!” A zombie teddy bear said. “Leave us alone!” Suddenly everybody took out a baseball bat (YAMAAHAA had a battle ax) and started walking forward. “WAIT!” Chris said. “I’m sorry!” “WAIT!!!” But it was too late. They proceeded to beat the crap out of him with their baseball bats, YAAMAAHAA swiped his head off with here battle ax,zombie teddy bears ate him, and they burned the rest of his body. The end.

BTW: I keep my door locked.


GMO: loose cannon cop Part 3 of 2

GMO looked around to find a way to get to his underground lair. He found the elevator and pressed a button, and then proceeded down to the lair. He stepped into the main room; there were mostly provisions in case of emergencies.

Suddenly, a huge group of henchmen (You know they would show up sooner or later) came in and surrounded GMO, all carrying electric tazers. “Sorry boys.” GMO said. “But you won’t find this experience electrifying. He took out his trusty sword and charged into the group. They tried to fire their tazers, but GMO just blocked them with his sword, which made it even more dangerous. GMO slashed down a group to his left, then one to his right. All doing it Zorro style with a little The Three Musketeers thrown in. But then 1,000,000 henchmen surrounded GMO. (Awkward Silence 5)

Then Raja came in. “Ah, the use one can have with cloning technology.” Raja said. “Oh and don’t bother, I have your partner.” Some henchmen came in and threw him on the ground. “What’s your real plan?” GMO said. “Why are you delaying the end of this story?” “I’m glad you asked,” Raja said, “because I like to gloat.” “See, by narrowly escaping death every time, I can delay the end of this story. Therefore, their will be so many awkward silences that the readers will get bored, and stop reading! Therefore, Chris will get discouraged that he won’t write anymore, and you won’t exists!” “You fiend!” GMO said. “How could you?” “Let GMO go,” Raja, said, “I’ll deal with him.” “Well I’m quite shocked.” GMO said. “I didn’t think you’d have the guts!” Raja said, “I don’t want to fight you, but challenge you.” “To what?” GMO said. “A DANCE OFF!” Screamed Raja.

“So it’s come to that has it.” GMO said. “What are you guys talking about?” RTSplayer said. “A dance off?” “Let me explain,” said Raja. “You see, before GMO became a cop, he studied the art of dancing, as did I. We were both students in high school when they said they would accept one student to the brand new academy across the street, taught by the most trained professionals in the world. I wanted to win to bad, but GMO beat me. I’ve been waiting all these years to give him a lesion, dancing lesson that is.” “HA HA HA HA HA!” RTSplayer said. “That’s so stupid! I mean dancing! Come on!” “That’s for sissies!” GMO and Raja looked at RTSplayer. RTSplayer stopped talking immediately.

Raja said, “Let’s get our groove on!” Then he put on his dancing suit and tights. “All right.” GMO said, putting on his dancing suit and tights. “Let’s rock!”

Raja had the upper hand at first, using his height advantage to pull off amazing jumps of epic proportions. GMO tried using disco moves, but Raja had become to powerful. His powerful moves made GMO groan in pain. “Face it!” Raja said. “You got nothin left!” “You don’t want to make me angry,” GMO said, “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” Suddenly GMO got up off the ground, and started doing a marvelous routine. “IT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!!” Raja screamed. Such power was coming from GMO that all the glass in the building suddenly broke. “IT CAN’T BE!!!” Raja screamed. “IT’S-IT’S-IT’S THE MOOFLY SHUFFLE!!!!” Suddenly GMO glowed really brightly and no sound could be heard accept the faint ringing in everyone’s ears. GMO grew even brighter and raised off the ground. Then, a big explosion unleashed and vaporized everything. None were left alive except GMO and RTSplayer.

RTSplayer woke up in his apartment. “Was it a bad dream?” He said to himself. “No.” GMO said, walking in the room.” “But how?” RTSplayer said. “How did you do that?” “Weights might be what makes a man strong,” He said, “But dance skills are what makes him truly powerful.” GMO started to leave. “How do you do those dances though?” RTSplayer said. GMO turned around and said one parting comment,

“With great dance skills, come great responsibilities.” Then he hijacked RTSplayer’s car and drove off into the night, letting the world know once again: EVIL: THERE’S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN!!!”