The Zombie Teddy Bears (second edition)

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(Read in your best tough guy voice) (Sorry I couldn’t get into the flashbacks)

“Wow GMO!” YAAMAAHAA said. “I can’t believe you took me to this outstanding Chinese restaurant!” “Anything for you babycakes.” GMO said. “But how can you afford it?” YAAMAAHAA said. “Well,” GMO said, “It’s a funny story really. See, I was snowboarding down a mountain in Argentina and-” Suddenly GMO was interrupted by a Japanese man who had just come in. “Give me all your money!” He shouted. “You can’t have that,” GMO said, “But do you care-for some takeout!” He charged forward. The Japanese man tried using his best karate moves but GMO dodged them all. Then he gave the Japanese man the infamous GIGANTO WEDGIE and hung him on the door by his underpants. Suddenly the cops burst in, led by RTSplayer. “Good job GMO,” RTSplayer said, “This man was a wanted criminal trying to eliminate Chinese food so that Sumo Wrestlers would be extinct.”

Suddenly, RTSplayer got a bulletin on his radio. “Oh, no!” He said, “Your other arch nemesis, the evil Dr. Zega, has unleashed a swarm of zombie teddy bears at the police station.” “Zombie teddy bears!” GMO screamed. “Anything but teddy bears!” “What do you mean?” RTSplayer said. “Well,” GMO said, “It all started a long time ago.” (The screen goes to static as we are transported back in time) “HEY!” GMO shouted. “Who said the audience could look in the flashback?” “What do you mean?” “Listen Chris, GMO said, this wasn’t in the contract so go ahead and hit the road.” “But-but.” “I said scram!” GMO said. (The flashback is over) “Wow!” RTSplayer said. “I didn’t even know that could happen!” “It happens every ten years or so.” GMO said.

GMO and RTSplayer headed outside. GMO hijacked a conveniently close motorcycle (with a sidecar) and sped of with RTSplayer on the motorcycle towards the police station. When they got there the zombie teddy bears were circling the police station. There were hundreds. “Oh no!” RTSplayer said. “It’s worse than I thought!” “We got to do something!” GMO just started blankly. Suddenly a zombie teddy bear grabbed RTSplayer and started dragging him towards the group. “Help me GMO!” He shouted. “Help me!” GMO was too scared to move, “Find my happy place, find my happy place!” He said to himself, and suddenly, he fainted.

“Wha-Where am I?” GMO said. He sat up. He was in a long white room. “Why, this is your mind.” Someone said. “It’s your happy place.” “Hey I know you!” GMO said. “Your Obi Wan Kenobi!” “Of course, I am,” He said, “I’m your inner Star Wars character, everyone has an inner star wars character. I am here to help.” “Oh great inner star wars character!” GMO said, “What should I do about my fear?” (He tells flashback) “Did you try using the force?” Obi Wan said. “This isn’t funny Obi,” GMO said, “Teddy bears can strip the flesh off a man in less than five seconds.” “There’s nothing to be afraid of!” Obi Wan said. “There’s not?” GMO said. “No,” Obi Wan continued, “Teddy bears aren’t scary, they’re just different.” “Oh,” GMO said, “So I should treat them like any other person?” “NO!” Obi Wan said. “How dare they be different! What, our way isn’t good enough for them?!!” “Yeah!” GMO said, “Your right!” “So go outside and show them whose boss!” Obi Wan said. “I will!” GMO shouted. Obi Wan sighed. “It gets so lonely in here.”

GMO woke up. “EEEEEKKKK!” He could still here RTSplayer screaming. “Somebody help me!” GMO took out his trust sword. “All right teddy bears!” He said, “You may have scared me before, but now let me give you something to be scared about!” He charged forward, slicing the head off teddy bears as he went. Some teddy bears tried to latch on, but GMO’s muscles were too strong. “What?” GMO said, laughing to himself, “Stuffed?” Suddenly the brunt of the zombie army jumped onto GMO and covered him completely. RTSplayer thought he was done for. Suddenly there was a bright surge of light, and GMO threw them all off. “Time to get this over with,” he said, pulling out his trusty minigun. “If you like eating flesh,” he said, “then try lead!” He sprayed the bullets over the crowd, taking huge groups at a time out. All that was left was disfigured bodies.

“Well,” he said, “took care of that.” Suddenly all the disfigured teddy bears all formed into one giant teddy bear. “ROOOAAAARRRR!” “Oh darn.” GMO said. The teddy bear grabbed GMO, and ate him. But he wasn’t done for yet, (Is he ever?) because he took out his sword and started slashing on the inside. It still wasn’t cutting it, (sorry about the bad joke) so he took out his minigun and started blasting. Suddenly, the teddy bear exploded and threw stuffing everywhere. “Great job,” RTSplayer said, “After what happened last time (He reviews flashback) I thought you wouldn’t go near another teddy bear again.” GMO walked off into the sunset to see YAAMAAHAA again. So ends another great journey. (Although the build a bear workshops all went out of business) GMO was once again loose to let the world know that: “EVIL: THERE’S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN!!!!”