The Boring Day

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GMO loose cannon cop in: The boring day (Remember to read in a tough guy voice)

“Oh GMO!” YAAMAAHAA said, “Thank you for taking me to this fancy Italian restaurant!” “No problem babycakes,” GMO said. “But how can you afford it?” YAAMAAHAA asked. GMO said, “Well that’s a funny story really, see I was skydiving at-“GMO stopped. “What is it?” YAAMAAHAA asked. “Wait for it.” GMO said. He looked around. “Well gee,” he said, “usually something happens.” He paused for a long time, but there was no interruption. “Well,” he said, “I guess the writer forgot that part. Anyway, I was skydiving after some evil high-tech thief who had just jumped the plane when they learned I was in on him. ‘Stop you thief!’ I cried, but he didn’t of course. I took out my trust minigun but couldn’t manage to hit him. The thief suddenly laughed a lot at me. I asked him why he was laughing, saying I was gonna turn that smile upside down when he replied. ‘You have no parachute!’ He said. We continued falling but I was brave of course. The thief ignited his parachute and started floating away. Conveniently I fell into the pillow factory, and landed on a soft surface. Even more conveniently the thief landed in a nearby police dog training facility. Their still cleaning up what’s left. Anyway, I was exiting the factory when I overheard to guys talking about a dastardly plan. It appears they were competitors of this restaurant and were going to stuff all the pillows with a free dinner coupon so no one would have to pay for a meal here, putting them out of business. I took them out of course, just when the owner of this restaurant arrived. He was so thankful that he gave me two of the coupons. GMO paused. “What is it?” YAAMAAHAA asked. “Well,” GMO was saying, “It just seems like a good time for the cops to come.” He paused for a really long time. “Well,” he said, “I’m going to see if they need help with anything.” He walked off to the parking lot. GMO looked at a motorcycle and walked over to start hijacking it. GMO grunted. “Looks like this guy has some weird wiring or something,” he said. GMO continued trying to hijack it but couldn’t then he walked off. “I guess I’ll go home.” He thought.

RTSplayer was sorting out paper work at another boring day of his job. He sighed. He looked at some movies he had rented from Blockbuster. “I wonder what GMO is doing,” he thought. He went over to GMO’s apartment building and was about to knock we he noticed the door was open. “He-Hello?” He said. He went in and looked around. No one was there but there were holes in the walls, and it looked as if GMO had shot into his bed for minigun practice. RTSplayer noticed a noise coming from the roof. He went up the stairs to the roof and opened the door. GMO was standing on the roof, panting, and about to jump. “What are you doing?” RTSplayer shouted. “Must-have-action!” GMO said about to jump. RTSplayer ran up and pulled him down from the ledge. “What were you thinking?” RTSplayer said. “Things are just going so wrong today that I thought some late night bungee jumping might help.” “I think you need to hear this.” RTSplayer said, pulling out a walkman. He gave GMO the head phones and started playing the song “You had a bay day.” After the song was over GMO said, “That song rings so true, I really can turn it around.” “Yeah,” RTSplayer was saying, “One time I wanted to create a new kind of condiment. I would call it “Mayotard” a mix of mustard and mayo. “Uh, RTSplayer?” GMO said. “I never got to make it though, but I vowed that one day I would! One day I would create MAYOTARD! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!” “Uh, RTSplayer,” GMO said, “You’re about to fall.” RTSplayer started to fall just as GMO grabbed his hand, but he ended up falling too. “AGH!” They screamed. RTSplayer grabbed the ledge and was dangling in midair as GMO grabbed one of his feet. “You have to pull us up!” GMO said. RTSplayer tried with great frustration but couldn’t quite manage it. “I can’t do it!” He said. “Just think,” GMO was saying, “If you don’t save us you will never be able to create mayotard!” (Insert really dramatic music) RTSplayer got a really determined look on his face. (Dramatic music starts picking up tempo) Grunting with determination, he started pulling them up inch by inch like he had suddenly gotten super strength. But suddenly he slinked back down. “I still can’t do it!” He said. (Dramatic music skips and flies off the record player.) Suddenly RTSplayer lost his grip and they fell to the ground. Luckily, they were only three feet above the ground. “AGH!” GMO screamed. “GMO, we’re okay.” RTSplayer said. “AGH!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!!” GMO continued. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” But suddenly GMO’s unnecessary screaming was interrupted as a black hole appeared and started sucking objects. “I’ll stop it!” RTSplayer shouted, walking forward. Suddenly his head was hit by a lamppost and he got knocked out. A passerby said, “You’re our last hope! You got to stop that black hole!” “Uuuughhhh.” GMO said, thinking back to his childhood. It was another high school day in Science class and GMO was casually reading the latest magazine of “bad boy monthly.” “GMO!” His teacher screamed. “Someday you’re going to need to know how to stop a black hole and you’ll be sorry! “Yeah, right.” GMO thought, getting back to his magazine. “Uh oh.” GMO said. “I’ll just stop it my way!” He said, charging forward. He took out and started shooting his minigun at it. “In pain!” He said, “Suck it up!” The minigun seemed to have no effect on the black hole. GMO took out his sword and threw it at the black hole, but it just sucked it up to. A kitten meowed as it started purring and wrapping around GMO’s leg. GMO picked it up and threw it at the hole. Nothing happened. Suddenly his arch nemesis Raja appeared from behind a building. “Ah GMO!” He said. “It appears you have found my black hole device.” He was holding a remote. “And this remote controls it. It won’t stop until it has ingested the entire world!” He said. “MU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MU HA HA, MU HA HA, MU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “You fiend!” GMO said. He charged forward and hit Raja while he was still laughing and grabbed the remote. “You’ll never turn it off!” Raja screamed. But GMO was too busy doing a victory dance. “Go me, go me, it’s my birthday! Uh huh…” GMO was saying, “TOUCHDOWN!” He said, throwing the remote down. “NO!” Raja screamed. The remote broke and the black hole suddenly got bigger. “You fool!” Raja cried. “You tore a rip in the fabric of time and space! The entire universe will be destroyed!!!” The black hole got to an enormous size, and everything, including GMO got sucked in, and GMO saw no more.

“AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” GMO screamed. He sat up from sleeping on a coach. “Whew,” he thought, “It was just a dream, a horrible dream.” He looked over and RTSplayer was sitting next to him. “What happened?” He said. “I came over to watch a movie with you.” He said, “We’re watching legally blond the uncut version!” GMO screamed, “NNNNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!"