Attack of the Clowns

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(ANYONE WITH CLOWNAPHOBIA DO NOT READ ONWARD!) (Once again read with your best tough guy voice)

“Oh, GMO.” YAAMAAHAA said. “Thank you for taking me to this super-fancy French restaurant.” “Your welcome babycakes,” GMO said. YAAMAAHAA said, “But how did you afford it?” GMO said, “Well, despite the fact that I threatened the waiter to give me a 70% discount it was really the-" But GMO was interrupted by a man in a black overcoat who had just pulled out a shotgun. “Give me your money!” He shouted. “You picked the wrong table to bus!” GMO said. GMO leaped up and started running towards the robber. The robber was shooting at him, but to no avail. GMO ran up and delivered an illegal kickboxing move to his attacker.

“Your… bad,” was all the thief had time to say before he collapsed. GMO said, “How do these French people say it? Bon appotiet?” The cops busted the door down and walked in on the scene. (They always do just as GMO has beaten up the bad guy) “Good job, GMO.” The cops said. “This criminal was wanted in 43 states, also China and Russia.” One of the cops interrupted. “Sir!” He cried. “Clowns are attacking the circus, they must be stopped!” “I’ll go!” GMO said. “Wait for me babycakes.” “You know I will!” YAAMAAHAA said. GMO hijacked a conveniently close by motorcycle and sped off. As all the cops thought of how they wished they were GMO, and all the girls thought how they wished that all the guys were GMO.

GMO arrived at the circus just in time. Clowns were ruining everything. They even got to the big top. (Not the big top!) “Stop clowning around!” GMO shouted. “And pick on someone your own size!” They said, “We’re teaching people a lesson! We’re tired of being laughed at!” “I’ll give you something to laugh about!” GMO said, charging forward. Lucky GMO had brought his trusty mini gun and his trusty sword. (Barbarian-like sword of course, with serrated edges.) GMO pulled out his minigun and mowed down the group. Soon ones came on elephants and started trying to trample him. GMO was too fast for that, but he quickly ran out of ammo.

He then pulled out his trusty sword. He jumped on an elephant and slew the clown on top. “A loose cannon cop never forgets!” He said. He charged forward on his elephant and cut down the rest of the clowns. Then he saw two small clown cars coming forward. “How many can they fit in there?” He wondered. Then, 5,000 clowns got out of each one. GMO picked up the canvas from the big top and threw it over them. Then, using a medieval style catapult, catapulted some elephants onto the group. None survived. Then the last of the clown army, 1,000 of them, all started to make balloon animals. They made so many, that it formed a giant, balloon sized man that stretched almost to space.

“Kneel before the new clown Order!” The clowns said. “We have control of this balloon man, and he will destroy you!” GMO grabbed one of those guys with the needles sticking out of his face and said, “Looks like you guys need to relax! How about some acupuncture!”

He threw the man at the balloon and it popped, and the air that came out was so powerful that it blew the clowns far away. (To Antarctica of course, and they all froze into ice cubes. But, they will melt at global warming. By then of course, the world will be so far advanced, that they can be easily dealt with.)

GMO went back to the fancy French restaurant to tell the cops that everything was okay. “Where were we babycakes?” “Don’t answer, and let my lips do the talking.” He said while he was kissing YAAMAAHAA for about half an hour. “GMO!” One of the cops said, interrupting. “A rouge gang of Irish bagpipe players are trying to destroy the world’s oil supply! Someone must stop them!” “I will.” GMO said.

“To let people know: EVIL! THERE’S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN!”